There were times that my dad actually did show up, but it was always one of those things mom used as a last resort and I hated when he did. Why did he all of a sudden want to step up and be a dad? Where was he all of the other times?
I told mom I was going to a friend’s house to dye my hair. Instead, I bought a couple of joints and a friend and I went down to the Cayce boat landing. I got so high, I forgot to take my foot off the brake. So, when the cop rolled up he spotted us right off the bat (it was dark outside). Usually something like that sobers you up real quick like but I was on a different high that night. I had the shakes I was so high. It didn’t help that my adrenaline started pumping. I was real honest with the guy (I can’t lie worth a crap-those of you who know me well, know this) he told me the more I told the truth, the better off it would be for everyone. The girl, right up front, told the guy it wasn’t her weed and that everything was mine and on me. I took the blame. It was in fact my car and I’m the one who bought it. But usually good friends don’t throw you under the bus. They usually at least share the blame with you. Lesson learned now, but sadly, not then.
The cop said we could each call somebody to come get us. She called her boyfriend and I called my mom. When a cop says you can call somebody to come pick you up, you aren’t getting arrested. But what does mom do? She calls my dad, who is a cop. She shows up first. Asking a bunch of questions like any mother would do. But I was being defensive and we got into it. But when my dad showed up, flying on the scene like he was superman, I lost my cookies.
“What is he doing here?” I yelled at my dad so much and so hard that my abdomen hurt the next day from straining.
Mom brought a friend so somebody could drive my car home-Jamie wasn’t old enough to drive yet, at least not by himself anyways. I rode home with mom’s friend’s niece just to get away form my parents for a minute and try to calm down. But that only caused more problems because there was a misunderstanding. We thought we were going to the friend’s house, but they were expecting us at my house.
When I got home, my dad was there and that just ticked me off even more. On they way home we had gone through Sonic and I had gotten a route 44 sweet tea and on the way into the house, I decided it would be an awesome idea to throw the route 44 tea on my dad. Not exactly sure what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn’t thinking straight at all because I then proceeded to run into the laundry room, with no escape, as my dad was chasing me. He was blocking me in and yelling at me and of course knocked the hat off I was wearing.
Jamie ended up stepping in between us and I was able to escape from being trapped. They exchanged a few words and then dad was back trying to parent me. All I really remember is his grabbing me by the shoulders and I doing the same to him as he sat me down in the chair. I was gripping his shoulders so hard that I ripped his t-shirt sleeves and he starting saying, “You see this? CDV.” I went off on him and finally got a few things off my chest that I needed to say to him at that point in time. I said, “You haven’t lived in here in God knows how long, that is not CDV. You have been more worried about your dang girlfriend than you have about your family that you seem to have forgotten about. But now you want to step in and parent cause mom called you? I don’t need you. I’ve done just fine most of my life without you.” (Biggest lie I’ve ever told-but that was the lie I was telling myself so I was sticking to it).
After I said what I needed to say, I ended up “running away” to the waffle house. I didn’t want to be at my house if my dad was going to be there. I called that same friend from the boat landing, but she couldn’t come get me-go figure. So, by this time, dad had already called the cops and they were at my house. I called mom’s friend, who had driven my car home, to come get me and she and the cops showed up. They asked me a few questions-I honestly don’t remember what they said-and then I went home with mom’s friend.
It was definiely a crazy night. By the grace of God, I didn’t end up going to jail or getting killed by my parents.
Dear Lord, I’m thankful for the countless, overflowing, underseving grace You freely hand out to me day in and day out. No matter what I do, it will never separate me from Your love. What an amazing God You are. I pray that instead of acting out over worldly things, I can bring You my burdens and find completeness and rest in You. I pray, also, that when people want to help I accept their willingness and not automatically shut down-regardless of who it is. In Your name I pray, Amen!