Lake Deception

Turn this mess of mine, O God, into Your message..png

I met a stripper in five points, ended up going home with her-wise choices, I know. It’s a miracle I wasn’t ever murdered or anything. I moved in with her shortly after that-another wise choice. I don’t know what my deal was but, I just did NOT want to be at home. I would stay with anybody to prevent being home.

I was invited to the lake with her and some of her friends. It was the first time I was meeting them. I somehow got blindsided into getting involved with her and her boyfriend. Going into this trip I had no idea they were an item. I really don’t even think you could call it that. It was one of those things where it wasn’t a committed thing (obviously) but maybe an open relationship or a no strings attached type thing. I really have no idea-to this day.

Anyway, we decided to go skinny dipping. It was just the three of us and it was some kind of ultimatum for me, “come skinny dipping with us and who knows where it’ll go, or don’t come in at all. You can watch or go back up to the house.” Okayyyy. So nobody ever really wants to watch other people (that’s extremely awkward) so, I went swimming. I could’ve gone back up to the house, but I didn’t know anybody. Yes, I know this would’ve been the perfect time to go and make new friends, but I chose poorly.

Long story short, things kept up for a few months. The dude ended up developing feelings for me, which made things awkward between me and the girl because she started becoming jealous (as anybody would). She began to avoid/ignore me, while I was still living with her (in the same apartment complex as the dude by the way). Just all sorts of messed up.

I wish this were where I told you that I learned my lesson but, I didn’t. I have a stubborn way about me where I just have to learn the absolute hardest way possible.

But, I’ve learned that where there is suffering, there is perseverance also.


Dear Lord, I have definitely had my fair share of suffering, but I am oh so thankful for Your unending grace and mercy. Your love knows no limits. It is so incredible to be able to look back on these difficult times and be able to see Your hand that I couldn’t see before-mainly because I wasn’t even looking for it. Help me look for You, Lord, in everything I do. Help me to see things from Your perspective in that present moment, so that when I do look back, remembering Your great works, I can remember how much smoother the journey is when I include you. I pray that I learn from my mistakes. Turn this mess of mine, O God, into Your message. I pray that people see You in this-that even though we make mistake after mistake, sin after sin, there is NOTHING that could separate us from You. Your grace abounds. There is never a mess too messy or a mistake made too much. You are always there! In Your name I pray, Amen!


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